Day 5: Valued when Careless
of The Heart of God: Through David’s Eyes
Below is Day Five of the study, but there is an introduction to check out which gives context and sets the tone, and previous weeks to look at below. If you would like the full content all in one place, this book is now available for purchase on Amazon. Week 1 - He Longs for Us to Know Who We Are
Day 1: We Are His People
Day 2: Chosen when Humble
Day 3: Victorious when Weak
Day 4: Loved when Selfish
Day 5: Valued when Careless
When my husband, Ben, and I were first married, he was constantly trying to go above and beyond to serve me. He would run errands that I needed to run, stop to get me something special, and anticipate my needs such as fill my car’s tank of gas. One day, I was driving home from work and barely made it to the gas station. My tank was virtually empty. In response, I called my husband, furious that he hadn’t filled my tank with gas. I filled up, started to drive home and realized: I was being a jerk! I was completely using Ben and was expecting him to do things for me. Later that evening, I decided to ask him to stop doing so many thoughtful things because I was misusing and not appreciating the kind things he did for me. I asked for support to confront me being spoiled and using him.
As we continue the story of David meeting Bathsheba, we can see he was also behaving in a similar, spoiled sort of arrogance. He saw something, expected it to be his, and then took full advantage of the situation.
One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. (Now she was purifying herself from her monthly uncleanness.) Then she went back home. (2 Samuel 11:4)
The simplicity of the complicated circumstances is upsetting here. “She came to him, and he slept with her.” There is no reference to consent, mutual desire, or any sort of value he is putting on this woman and her body. He simply called others to gather what he wanted, and he completely forgot her value as a human. Without more details, it sounds like he raped her due to his power and authority over her.
The heartbreak of this reality is sadly too common practice in our world. The way sexual exploitation devalues others is rarely discussed, but must be brought to light here. David is not only completely selfish in his desire to have her, but also careless and demeaning in his pursuit of her. His abuse of power resulted in not only her violating her marriage, but in her being a victim.
While God knew David would make this choice, and He did not condone David’s behavior, he still allowed David to remain king. God does not simply define David as a sum of his choices. There are consequences for David’s choices, but his sinfulness does not make him undeserving of forgiveness. God extends grace to those who make mistakes we struggle to forgive.
What is your first response when you read about how David took advantage of Bathsheba?
Consider if Bathsheba was a married friend of yours being called to sleep with the political leader of your area. How does putting this into current circumstances change the emotional impact and offensiveness of the situation?
In what ways do you struggle to accept God still sees value in those who make such terrible mistakes?
Are you able to see the value God sees in David after his careless, unloving, selfish behavior?
There are absolutely times we all have used others for our own benefit and dismissed their value. If not in the way David did, maybe in another way. How has your failures or behavior led you to question if you have value?
An excerpt of The Heart of God: Through David’s Eyes by Jill Ng