The Heart of God

Written By Jillian Ng

Through David’s Eyes

Starting tomorrow, I will be sharing my new 28-day guided study about The Heart of God Through David’s Eyes to invite you to encounter God’s heart in new ways. Below is the Introduction to this devotional which is now available on Amazon.

Introduction

It’s likely you’ve realized by now: even though people tell you you’re enough, it doesn’t feel true. Have you ever considered why that is? You may feel pretty sure that you love God, but actually believing that He loves little old you may be a hard pill to swallow. This paradox is present deep within us because these two truths both exist simultaneously: You are completely enough for God, and you will also never be enough. 

For some people, from the moment they were born, they had certainty of their own value. These people had their needs met, felt safe and loved, and had stable provision. What a gift if you were among those who were given this type of beginning. For others, this is not how their understanding of the world began for not all stories begin with a safe, loving narrative. There are many who have questioned why they were born or felt worthless from the moment their lives began. 

Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum of feeling loved and valued, our culture is filled with critical, judgmental humans. It is impossible to navigate our world without questioning your value and wondering if you matter. At some point in our lives, each of us will feel unworthy.

Fortunately for us, we have a God who has never questioned our value. From even before our lives began, we were known by our Creator with incredible intention and certainty. Our established value is fortunate for us, because it is a simply-indisputable fact. You matter. The way you feel about God is irrelevant in determining your value. While how you feel deeply matters to our God, feelings do not impact what is real and true. 

Notice these words of David, the shepherd-boy-turned-king. He wrote this psalm as a reflection of his years of knowing and relating with God. David has tried to reject God and show that he can function without Him but to no avail. The love of God is so clear to David that he overflows with dozens of poems about this very thing: the deep, intimate relationship he experiences with the Most High God.  

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you. Psalm 139:1-18, New International Version

With my whole heart, and as a result of my wrestling with God over accepting my belovedness, I am writing you this letter (in the form of a book). With David’s words and experiences at the forefront of my mind, I have been able to confront my questions about whether or not  I truly am loveable, valuable, and precious to God despite my sinfulness and imperfection. After reflecting on David’s life and many of the Psalms he wrote, my perspective has shifted significantly. My hope is that studying these words will also penetrate the deep lies you believe about your value, too. 

Through the words and stories of David, “the man after God’s own heart,” we will navigate how to see God’s heart. We will also attempt to not be repulsed, all at once, by the fact that we are simply both too broken and restorable. Yep, you’ve messed up. There have been days you did unspeakable things, had malicious thoughts, and failed. God knew all about the things you would choose long before He chose to love you. 

I see how brave you are to read these pages, so I am just grateful for the chance to write them to you. My prayer is that my words bring you encouragement and peace. As you experience a (renewed) love of scripture and understanding of God’s heart, may it be contagious to the other precious people in your life who have not yet learned of their value. 

May you seek God’s heart like the imperfect, human David. May the Holy Spirit allow you to accept how precious you are, so that you can rest in the love God has for you. 

An excerpt, the Introduction to The Heart of God: Through David’s Eyes by Jill Ng
Jillian Ng
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