With all your heart…

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” (Deuteronomy 6:4-5). 

As we continue a series on the Shema (Sh’ma) found in Deuteronomy 6, let’s take a moment to talk about what “with all your heart” means.

According to science, the heart is pretty important. This fist sized organ in the chest is required to function properly in order to keep humans alive. It is referred to as a vital organ.

When Deuteronomy was written, we had not discovered that the our hearts beat around 115,000 times a day or that our heart pumps bout 2,000 gallons of blood a day. Long before research the heart was recognized as a valuable part of the human existence. The heart is in many ways a central part of each of us.

Throughout time, there has also been a less literal understanding of the heart. This emotional, relational, and even romantic use of the word heart is found in every culture, language, and time period. We universally understand that at our core we are emotional, relational people who long for connection, love, and to be seen.

God uses the phrase, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart…” in the prayer called “the Shema” in order to connect us to our core. While God wants us to love him with our whole selves, He knows we are a bit delusional in our capacity to love. (Just calling a spade a spade here.) We think we are capable of loving Him and loving anything else with our whole selves. This is simply untrue. The way we constantly reject His love and compassion for trivial matters would argue otherwise.

While we are very loving people, God knows that whenever we lose focus on our love for Him, the rest of our lives fall apart. He knows that the only way for our love to be able to reach out to many is to adopt His love. As our Creator, He understands our needs and core better than anyone else. He knows our desire is to show love and compassion to others, but over and over we fail when we use our own efforts.

Where do you get your love?

I remember explaining my love for my children to a friend who was expecting her second child. She was concerned she would not be able to love her second child exactly the way she loved her first child. I shared with her that she was absolutely right. Loving our children is a unique experience for each one. While I love all of my kids immensely, the love I have for them is special and reflective of our specific relationship. I don’t love my kids the same, I love them each the way they need to be loved. I couldn’t possibly love them all in a blanket, measurable way.

My friend looked back at me with a blank stare that made me question everything. As we processed this information, she helped me realize she was more worried about having enough love to give. Then I asked her where she gets her love. (Blank stare number two.)

Early in my life I realized I, in my own self, don’t have much love to give. It may be the way my brain works or maybe it is more the way I would explain love. Regardless, I am very self-centered and concerned about myself. Throughout my life, as I read the Bible and got to know God, I learned that I didn’t need to use my limited capacity of love to love others. I could use His. While I do genuinely love others now, this has been an area I have had to intentionally allow God to grow in me.

He has an abundance of love. His love is plentiful and endless. I don’t need to rely on myself to have empathy, compassion, or extend grace. I can channel His. (Third blank stare.)

Perhaps the way I conceptualize love may be a bit different than others. Through countless discussions with friends I have determined that the love I am referring to is not different in practice but in intention. Any deep sense of care, of willingness to grow, adapt, or adjust is to love. However, the root of our intention does not need to be planted in our feelings or desires, but we can allow God’s love to be our motive and guide.

Photo by Magdaline Nicole

Intentional Love

When we took in a sibling group that were in need of a permanent, safe home it quickly became apparent that choosing to adopt these children would require a very specific intention. They had been traumatized incredibly in their short little lives which would require me (us) to understand that they may never genuinely love me (us). While this may seem overdramatic, the scientific and sociological research speaks to this very thing. Many children who have been adopted have complicated relationships with attachment, connection, and reciprocal love.

During this season of embracing these children as our own, friends and family were mostly concerned about our time, resources, and capacity to love this sibling group we just met. I, on the other hand, was deciding if I was willing to commit to put myself in a place of being rejected the rest of my life. This realistic reality is something I began mourning as we did decide to adopt. I consciously made the decision that this was something I was willing to (imperfectly) do. Our love would be offered, rejected, misunderstood, and may not have any measurable results. While we have seen more than we imagined, grieving this allowed us to love from a different place.

The last ten years of living in the complicated adventure of loving each of my kids, I have discovered that this love God asked me to offer my kids was similar to the kind of love He daily offers me. While my conceptualization of being loved may come with less outward conflict, I still put up quite the fight. He knows I’m going to reject him, look for love in other places, and have incredible distrust in His love. Yet, this doesn’t deter Him at all. Instead, He is steady to love me regardless of how I feel about His love; despite my receipt of His love.

Maybe that’s why I have understood my ability to use His love to love others, including myself, is something that I rely on. Without His love, I simply wouldn’t have love to offer anyone else. Some days I barely have enough love for myself. If that is my struggle, how can I have anything left for anyone else?

God’s love for my kids, friends, and me is unrelated to conditions or expectations. God’s love does not rely on us. The reason He offers us His love is so we can be confident that we are loved. (Writing these words feels like cheapening or oversimplifying the love of God because the vastness of His profound love cannot be contained in words, stories, or concepts.)

If we try to love without this intention, our love is often superficial and conditional. But, for us to encompass the incredible depth of God’s love is impossible and unrealistic. All I know is that I require His love to transform me into the person I want to be. Without receiving His love by loving Him, I have nothing to offer anyone.

When I need to be refocused in my intention, reading scripture is my first go-to. The opportunity to see the unique way God loves the various people He encounters displays the preciousness of His love. Our God isn’t plastic or cold; He is warm and intentional. Within countless stories, it is impossible to see His love is not a response to behavior or worth, but a proactive love that considers the way each person is wired. He loves people that don’t seem lovable. Maybe that’s the point. Each person requires a thoughtful tactic to be loved and cared for in their specific circumstances and understanding. His love is that careful.

At times, we convince ourselves the Bible is a book written to us, but it is written to heal us. The love God has for us is more apparent the more I read about how to identify His love in various people’s lives. We need to be alert and consciously expectant in order to notice the ways He is at work around and within us. Due to our hyper-fixation on being unheard, unloved, and misunderstood, we too often miss the love between the words.

God knows the salve to this issue: reminding us to focus on His pure, unconditional love with our entire hearts. He wants us to love Him for our benefit because His love is absent of self-interest. Our God simply wants you to know you have always been loved. Reading His word allows you to see yourself from His perspective and see how little He gets out of it: except seeing us feel loved. What a gift to be loved in order for us to know we matter.

Before I knew my kids, this concept was so foreign to me. While many in my situation may think I would go back and do things differently, this could not be further from the truth. Every hard day, each rejection, all the tears, the pain is all worth it. All I want is for my kids to know that they are loved. The reason I want this is because I know they are. My job as someone they love is to display this for them.

My hope is someday I will actually believe God loves me in the same way I want them to know they are loved.

May you, one who is loved and has incredible value, know how precious you are. May you love the only One who truly loves you without any ulterior motives or expectations with your whole heart. As you attempt to receive His love, give yourself grace and the time to take in a little bit more.